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Tuesday, April 28, 2009 11:47 PM

I don't know why. I really don't.
I don't know why i cant resist going all soft when i see her face.
Its like a picture of her is enough to make my day.

Been awhile since i felt this way. Not since that break up.
Never really recovered, no, not at all.
I hate to remember that day, where all my emotions were a meandering whirl.
The self esteem drained drought dry. It felt like the end of the world.
Hitting me faster than any dosage of alcohol.
Its about time i guess.
One and a half years of concealed depression didn't do good.
I didn't care how i looked, there was no more self confidence and no more image.
Muscles turned to fat, beer belly formed, complexion ruined with pimples.

Picking myself up never felt better.
This time there's more maturity, more sincerity and more seriousness.

And I hope this will work out. I pray this will go my way.

Looking back, everything was an experience.
An experience with a mixture of emotions.
An experience with a lesson to learn at the end.
But though as much as i am glad it happened, i wished it never ended.

On a separate note, when i look at him, the best friend, i see a younger reflection of myself.
The raging hormones, the curiosity to experience, the un-deflatable ego and the wannabe everything thats in the scene.
I watched him hit rock bottom, hard.
And all that came to my mind was that he had to fall, as what will not kill him will bring him back up stronger than before.
I hope he pulls together, i hope he does a positive self reflection and takes the right steps of correction.
He should be thankful that this has happened to him. He may not see it now, but humbleness will take him an extra mile further.
He has a lot to learn.

But then, so do I and so does everyone else. It never ends...

Sigh. Why does everything transitory have to be so hard.